Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
COCAINE IS GR8
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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