So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
