just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
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Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize