I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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