just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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