A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
