There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Im part way to drunk.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
