farters have to be the big spoon...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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