idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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