We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
