Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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