It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize