My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
