hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
This girl is more easily done than said...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
