i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
