Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
