By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
