NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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