I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
