DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I had to cum in my sink.
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