If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
