his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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