his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
