I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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