I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
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I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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