I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
