i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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