Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
