I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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