im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
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We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
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You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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