He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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