so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
