Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize