great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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