bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
