and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
