Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
