Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm having to shit out rocks
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
