just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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