I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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