it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
