I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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