My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
