in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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