White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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