Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
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We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
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Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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