seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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