it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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