No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
