I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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