is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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