How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
