FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
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Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
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Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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