Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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