I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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